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[29 Jun 2008|10:42am] |
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i need to go somewhere and just forget for a while.
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| i want to be strong |
[12 Apr 2007|03:03pm] |
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mood |
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sad,angry, and hurt |
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I heard something today and it really clicked and this is what I got...
It's hard for me to find someone who is trustworthy (for me) but I'm sure this will happen again and when it does, when someone isn't trustworthy with me- I need to let it go and not let it affect me. So, this is my mission to learn how to not let other people's asshole-ness to affect the way it does. For me to really internalize that I did the right thing and the other person did not and for me to move on. I mean I can say that to myself until the end of time but I don't really know how to believe myself when I say it.
I am SO much better than these assholes who keep making me think they are all in it and then all of a sudden vanishing AAAAAND PROMISING ME HE WOULDN'T JUST LEAVE ME AND WOULD TALK TO ME BEFORE ANYTHING else. I am done having guys lie to me about lying and promising me things that will never happen. I don't want to be cold and I don't want this to affect me because I love being the loving person that I am. BUT I am done being treated like shit because I am better than that. I am a catch and anyone should be happy to have me around. So for all of you guys who have fucked me over...FUCK YOU-this is your loss and I will not feel bad because you treat me like shit for no reason.
I don't know if I should write him a letter, because on the one hand it will make me feel better getting it all out but his response may make me even more upset...especially if he doesn't even respond, because unfortunately I still like him even after all of this crap.
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| it was valentines day, and I hoped to be so strong |
[14 Feb 2007|11:58pm] |
i finally went off on my mom tonight(and no not randomly, she started it all). She threw me out of the house, and so I packed a bag. As I was about to leave my sister came crying to me, begging me not to leave. So I bit my tongue again, said sorry to my mom and told her that it was wrong for me to finally tell her how I felt and that it was wrong for me to feel the way I felt and so she proceeeded to break me down as much as she could and she succeeded. She must have sensed that I Was finally feeling good about myself.
my life is messy, so don't get involved with me.
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| don't wake me I plan on sleeping |
[13 Feb 2007|10:08pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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tomorrow is valentines day and to be honest I don't really care. It's really another day...I think I have been single for so long now that it like doesn't even faze me. I'm not really sad or anything which kind of surprises me. I want to keep it that way.
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[31 Jan 2007|10:28pm] |
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one day someone will be proud to be my friend...
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[29 Jan 2007|12:00am] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
whats up people... I'm sick. Yeah, this is fucking redic, working with kids is like working with hunormous germs all day long. As much as I love those lil cooties....they're are killing me!!
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| woot woot |
[06 Jan 2007|11:21am] |
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mood |
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alright |
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music |
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coldplay |
] |
I really didn't want to go out last night, but I am really glad I did.
i also had a GREAT sleep last night...probably because I drank half a bottle of champagne though :)
i hope work goes by kind of fast
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| work is your new favorite |
[08 Jul 2006|12:08am] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
] |
I was going to write about how amazing the conert was the other night (The Shins and Belle and Sebastion with the LA Phil) BUT this morning was terrible and I need to get it out.
I had the worst open this morning because the people who were supposed to close the night before SUCK. I was so angry me and Mel basically had to close the store AND open it. We both were so angry and both felt like crying. The worst part was the person who was incharge of the close the night before was THE FREAKIN MANAGER! UGH! It is soo agrivating. Then the people I was working with were being so freakin retarded and basically weren't doing anything! So yeah...I was bascially ALMOST walked out on my shift and just fuck it. Also the brand new manager is training two others how to manage so yeah coffee bean is going down.
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| this weather is terrible! |
[27 Jun 2006|12:06pm] |
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ok, so I think the valley is going to have a hurricane soon with the looks of this weather :-\
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[04 Jun 2006|12:08pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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it's WAY too hot!
i don't like it!
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[14 May 2006|01:40pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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music |
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say anything-...is a real boy album |
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thank goodness for Allison last night, I'm really glad I got to see her last night and she really knows how to make me feel better too...late night runs to 7 11. i love her with everything i got.
anika is homeeeeee, YAY!
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| PLEASE READ |
[03 May 2006|03:49pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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-one in every three woman will be beaten by a husband or boyfriend
-every 15 a seconds one woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend
-30% of women are killed by their husband or boyfriend
I saw these stats on Oprah today...there was a woman on who had an abusive husband who got a restraint on him. The husband went back to court to get the restraint taken off his case...the husband didn't even show up to the court on the court date. This woman had pictures for evidence that showed the physical abuse he had put on her. The judge didn't even look at the pictures...made fun of her...didn't even listen to her...and then dismissed the case and had dismissed the restrain she had against him. Three weeks later the husband walked right into this womans work...had a Sprite bottle full of gasoline and poured it all over her and set her on fire right at her own work. She had to have 17 surgeries to just be alive.
There is a reason I put this story up- as much as I hate to admit it, ever since I have gotten outta CORE womans rights haven't been on my mind as much and I almost forgot how often this stuff happens. So please if you're a woman be careful and don't be afraid to talk to your friends if you are being abused, and if you're a guy think about this and think about your grandmothers, mothers, sisters, cousins, girl friends, etc. and don't just sit back and watch it happen because it doesn't get anything done and think about how it would feel if this were to happen to your loved ones, and that really goes for anyone because if you just watch it happen and not do anything about it then we are all guilty.
thank you...for your reading this and I love you guys.
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[30 Apr 2006|02:53pm] |
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mood |
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tired and sick! |
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music |
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circa survive-stop the car |
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work is soooo long and obnoxious!
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[28 Apr 2006|04:45am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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the format-on your porch(acoustic) |
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it's 4:45am...what the hell am I doing? I need to sleep.
What am I doing? Third times a charm?
also i have a HUGE crush on Zach from the Real World...OMG yummm
ps. it was nice to see so many friendly faces at work today :o)
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| can't get laid in this town...without these pointy fuckin shoes |
[24 Apr 2006|10:51pm] |
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mood |
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forgotten |
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music |
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AFI...NOT! |
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sometmes it's really easy to feel forgotten especially when all three of your best friends have gfs or signifigant others and you DON'T and you haven't really had one in a while. I forget what it's even like ,but all I know is that I miss it. forget it, i don't really know why i wrote this...
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| i miss sleepovers with the bff :O( |
[26 Mar 2006|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
] |
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music |
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minus the bear-hooray |
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last night was awesome, I had so much fun at Liz's party. NOT TO MENTION THAT LIZ AND I KICKED SOME GUYS ASS!!!!! omg what an asshole! I love you liz!!! My night ended well too, I got to have a sleepover with allison and we literally laughed ourselves to sleep and it was the best feeling I have had in a long time, it just felt right being there.
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[25 Mar 2006|04:18pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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SERIOUSLY...FUCK YOU!
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